I was so horribly mistaken. And now I - and everyone I love - are paying a terrible, horrific price for it. I never expected my online sexual confession to provoke so much anger, so much hatred and so much male sexual cruelty.
I only wanted to share my fantasies, because it seemed so sexy to me. I never expected that an underground anti-feminist organization, consisting of men (and even women) who had specialized in the re-education of 'subversive' women, would focus specifically on my confession. That I - and my female friends - would become the target of the most extreme forms of misogyny, of sadistic misandry.
In a horny mood, I confessed in an online video that I had helped rape my own brother. That mom had sucked my brother off while I was sitting on his mouth with my pussy. That dad had jerked him off, while he was inside my little brother's anus with his dick, while I came in my brother's mouth. It was a fantasy I had often masturbated to as a little girl.
But these people were disgusted by it. No man would do that, they said. And women who had these kind of fantasies were sick in their mind. Women who fantasized about this had to be punished in the most extreme ways, they told me. They told me that, if my mother really had participated and had not already passed away, they would torture her to death by clamping a device on her clitoris and anus and then zapping her with electricity while they stuck a heated rod in her pussy. They would have my brother raped by women with strap-ons and then castrate him, for being a miserable whimpy faggot.
Then, they told me, they would come after me.
They had already found out my IP address. It wouldn't be long before they would figure out my real address. Then men would come to get me, the messages said. That the first group of men was already on their way to rape me, and then kidnap me. To bring me to their underground, special 'female re-education center', where I would undergo my sexual punishment and torture. And if possible, sexual reprogramming.
I didn't believe them. I really should have.
But secretly it turned me on. The idea that there were men who actually wanted to rape me. They proved to me that this existed. That there were men who did these kind of thing. They sent me videos of women being sexually tortured in extreme ways. I came, watching the videos. They sent me clips of women's pussies being whipped, of their assholes being being stretched open.
They told me they were going to do this to me. I just masturbated to it. Then, late one night, the doorbell rang, aggressively.
There was pounding on the door. Then a loud crash. A group of men forced their way into my house. They chased me as I fled in my underwear as it was night. They grabbed me, spread my legs, grabbed my tits, tied me up and then they raped me, just like they had told me they would. They pulled my underwear off my bottom, spread my legs and used my cunt and mouth.
When the first twentyfour men had finished and their sperm dripped from my cunt, they beat my body to a pulp with their fists, feet and clubs.
They systematically kicked me in the face and punched me so many times in my stomach and in my mouth that my teeth broke. They kicked me in my cunt. And I lost consciousness as sperm just ran out of my anus like diarrea.
I came to on the tiles of my own bathroom as warm, corrosive liquid splashed on my face. They took turns pissing in my mouth and I drowned in their stinking piss, vomiting, and drowning in the stinking pool of semen that I had already vomited up. They kicked me in the cunt again. I lost consciousness, vomiting semen, saliva and urine.
When I woke up, I was stuck inside a large wooden box. I was tied up with leather straps that ran through the bottom of the box. The straps were tight around my neck, elbows, wrists, thighs and ankles, so that I could not move a muscle. I could feel my legs were slightly spread. To my horror, there was a special mechanism tied on my clitoris and my labia with clamps. The mechanism pulsed, causing a continuous, slightly irritating flow of electricity to run through my clitoris.
It caused my clitoris to rhythmically pulsate, swollen and pushed in and out of it's tiny little hood, vibrating. It didn't take long before I came.
You might think that that in itself was not a very big punishment. But the pulsation just did not stop after I came. I kept cumming. All the way through the long journey to whatever location the men were taking me. I came, until I lost consciousness. Until my body cramped, but could not move because of the straps with which I was restrained. I came convulsively. I screamed. I climaxed and felt a small puddle of my own pussy juice leaking from my pussy between my buttocks. I came again.
“No, no, please,” I screamed into the box. I tried to struggle. But my clit continued to pulsate under the current. And I was forced to cum again. I lost consciousness as the cramps ripped through my body. And when I awoke again, I came again.
I don't know how long the trip lasted. I felt that I was losing my mind. But it was too early for that. I didn’t know what it really meant to be mentally broken and really lose my mind. That came later. But for now, when I woke up again, I had been taken out of the wooden box and was now hanging with my legs spread in a metal construction.
There was a rubber mask pulled over my head that made it difficult to breathe. I gasped for air and struggled with the straps. But my legs were tied tightly and spread. They attached two large heavy clamps to my labia and let it hang in the air. The metal jaws crush the delicate flesh, clawing at my lips while they taped the ends to my thighs. Then they started to electrocute my pussy.
I shudder. A high-pitched gurgling comes out of my mouth. They shove a red-hot pipe into my anus. My eyes roll back in my head. I piss. They catch my piss and pour it through a funnel inside the mask, into my frozen open mouth. The current is still on my pussy. They laugh as they hold a lighter under my clit and I howl, trying to move my cunt away from the open flame.
I lose consciousness. Later they play back the sound of me, groining and gurgling, of my body shrieking while they keep torturing me while I am unconscious.
I am tied down in a special device, in the middle of a large gray cell, in front of a two-way mirror. It is a special chair that keeps my legs spread wide apart, a metal construct without a seat, so that there is good access to my pussy and anus from behind and from the front. My cunt and asshole are held open by gravity this way. I know that there are men and women watching behind the mirror as I suffer.
My arms are tied, as are my neck and my forehead. I can't move an inch. A charming young man in a lab coat enters the room. Many more men like him will come, all for what they call 'special treatment'. They are the exceptions to the normal rape sessions, in which I am gang-banged by groups of men. The grouprape, the guards tell me, are at a reduced rate. Men wo pay more for special treatment, get more specialized - and individual - time with me. And they get the objects they want to use on me at their dispose. All under one condition: they keep me alive for further use - no one may kill me (yet). I must suffer more.
This particualr gentle man preps a large glass dildo, connects it to a battery with wires and lubes the dildo. Then he start to push it into my pussy. The dildo is equipped with a special electrical current connection, allowing him to vary the voltage. This way, the man keeps me on the edge of pain, raping me manually, while my pussy contracts in the middle of hellish pain and terrible pleasure. Sometimes he makes me cum, so that my pussy juice accompanies the dildo. He enjoys it when my pussy juice runs over his hand and he licks it up and smells it.
When he is done with me after hours, and I hang exhausted in my bounds, still trembling and twitching, he shows me what all the treatment was really about. He has a special thermos bottle filled with my pussy juice. When he leaves the cell and leaves me exhausted, I see him take a little sip from the bottle. He smiles and waves at me. I don't know what I find worse. That I have cum so many times, squirting so much that he has enough to fill a bottle. Or that he actually takes my pussyjuice with him and drinks my squirt.
The thought humiliates me. And to my shame, it excites me. That men want to taste my squirt and drink it.
They make me sit in a chair, with my pussy still open from the large dildo and my anus twitching. They put special clamps on my eyelids, to force my eyes open. Men put a large computer screen in front of me and push a vibrator into a special device and push it on my pussy and clitoris. When they open the screen, I see how two young girls are being sexually tortured.
To my horror, I start recognize the girls. And while they turn on the vibrator on my pussy, the men tell me that I indeed know the girls. That they are the two teenage daughters of my best friend Valerie S.
Unlike female cunts who are untrustworthy and only good for pain and penetration, they are men of their word, they tell me. So, just as they had threatened, all the women - both young and of my own age - in my life will be forced to pay the price for my mistake. One of the guard stands behind me, pushing his large cock slowly into my anus, while we both look at the screen together.
Ï’m forced to watch how one of the girls is forced to put clamps on her own cunt, while her sister is trained to shove a large rubber dildo down her throat. “That's how they learn that their holes are only for pain, Kirsten,” the guard says as he rapes my asshole. “After all, women are just walking holes,” he says as the girls are whipped and scream. They are often beaten and raped together so they know how much the other is suffering.
As I start to cum around the cocks that continue to rape me and to be forced inside me, I see how the girls' bodies slowly adjust to the pain. When they are caned, I see how their pussies slowly begin to contract and to leak juices. The girls are also forced to use a mirror between their legs to see how their own pussies react when they are whipped, how wet they become from pain and their sexual suffering.
“It's part of their slave-education. To teach the parts of their lizard-brains to reverse the connection between pain and pleasure,” another guard tells me, as he pushes his cock inside my asshole again. “To learn that pain is their pleasure. That no pain means they have no purpose and should masturbate.” He pulls on my nipples and slowly carresses my soft belly, touching the wounds from the whip there, following the red swollen lines going down on my body.
”They're still young. Their brains are easy to mold. They'll learn soon enough. And once they're well-trained as pain slaves and are used to cumming on sexual pain and humiliation, they'll fetch a high price.”
He caresses my open pussy and feels me leak between my legs as I cum again, watching one sister scream as she is beaten on the bottom with a hard stick, while her older sister is forced to cum with a vibrator on her clit. I shudder and moan as I see how the girls are being anally raped by large dildos that stretch their assholes while they cry and scream. I cum and cum, while I see how the oldest girl's breasts are obscenely tied up until they protrude and her nipples swell and are whipped, while her younger sister reaches a shocking orgasm.
And meanwhile, another guard is playing with my own bound breasts with cigarettes and presses the smoldering ends against my nipples. He laughs as I watch one of the girls cry and scream pitifully while a trainer fists her, while her sister is forced to suck him off until the semen shoots into her throat and out of her nostrils. The girl being fisted desperately tries to use her hands, tied behind her back, to push the man's fist out of her anus, but she cannot reach it.
“Stop, stop, no more, please, stop!” she screams as the man pushes his fist deeper inside her. Because she cries and ask for it to stop, they push a thick cattle prod inside her asshole and shock her, until she learns to reverses her pleas and begs if she can have more pain in her cunt. As a reward, they push the cattle prod inside her pussy and shock her. She convulses and starts to cum as her eyes roll inside her skull.
I cum and lose consciousness.
When I wake up, the camera has been turned off and I am hanging with my legs spread and my arms tied.
I regain consciousness, screaming, because they are whipping my pussy. When my thighs and pussy are completely red and raw, they move on to my tits and whip them until I scream. I lose consciousness again. I wake up screaming again, because a machine is raping my asshole in a way that is almost impossible to describe. Clamps have been placed on my nipples and a plastic bag has been pulled over my head, and the screams from my mouth hardly sound human.
Still, through my own screams I can still hear the sound of something screaming above my own screams. It sounds feminine and familiar, I seem to recognize the high piercing sound, maybe there is even my name recognizable somewhere in the shrieking. But because of the plastic bag over my head I can't see exactly what is happening in front of me so I just continue to scream.
Later it turns out that it was my best friend Valerie screaming my name. That they chained her up in front of me at the time, her legs spread and open, completely naked, her pussy open, tits tied up, her hands in clamps, her head clamped in a wooden yoke.
I was being raped by the machine, screaming while my best friend Valerie S was forced to watch, sometimes even with a vibrator on her swollen clit to force her to come, during and watching my machine-rape.
Only later did I realize that they had this done to Valerie, also while she had to watch her teenage daughters being raped and sexually tortured and trained in front of her.
They had forced Valerie to cum on the torture of her own daughters - because of me. Valerie was sexually punished - because of me.
They forced me into a gynecologist's chair and clamped my labia and stretched out my labia, with clamps on my nipples and my mouth forced open with a metal ringgag. Then they put a vibrator on my clit again and worked my pussy while the screams and shrieks of my best friend Valerie Schül's torture could be heard through a loudspeaker. They punished her, they told her, not only because of her relationship with me. “Not only because of your friendship with Kirsten Apple T," they've told her, while pushing a rubber baton inside her asshole.
But also because Valerie was a bad mother herself. After all, Valerie had not taught her teenage daughters how to satisfy a man. She never educated her two little teen girls that their holes should always be open and easily accessible for use by any man - their daddy, their cousins, their neighbors and teachers. For this, Valerie had to be punished in a special way.
So I was forced to cum, while the guards told me that they would stick a special long needle deep into Valerie's clitoris. And that, while I heard my girlfriend scream like an animal, they would then heat this needle at the tip so that it would slowly scorch the inside of her body. The needle would burn her clit from the inside and burn her female nerve endings, while Valerie slowly went mad from the heat in her pussy. Then they would rape her urethra and shock her.
To my horror and amazement, I could see how the precum drips from the swollen cocks of my captors as they work my cunt with the vibrator. They love it, as tell me how they will pull the teeth from Valerie's mouth. Because a soft mouth feels good during oral sex and that they later will throw her in a kennel with wild dogs, that are being kept stiff and aroused with viagra, her legs tied to her hands, so that every move she makes will open her legs. The dogs will rape her like the female bitch Valerie is.
I hear her scream my name, scream for my help, that they are hurting her pussy. She screams for God while they fist her. They stick needles into her labia. They hold a lighter under her clitoris. I see her piss. They rape her mouth while they pinch her nose, making her gasp for air and scream with her tongue around their cocks. They electrocute her nipples. I see her life force ebbing away.
They torture my dear friend Valerie to death before my eyes, while they concentrate working on her cunt. She dies screaming and foaming at the mouth while a man sticks a smoking soldering iron into her uterus, while I see how another man pulls Valerie's fallopian tubes from her body and electrocutes them while he has his cock in her foaming mouth.
I don’t get any rest. I am gang-banged for days on end by groups of men, fisted and anally raped. Sometimes they stick the barrel of a gun in my anus. Sometimes they rape my cunt with a gun, just because they believe this is funny. I am scared to death, afraid of being shot in my vagina. I cannot imagine how much pain that will cause or how many organs will drip out between my legs.
They electrocute my nipples while they continue to torture Valerie's daughters in front of my eyes and train them as sex slaves. I don't know if they know that their mother was tortured to death. I also don't know if it matters.
They fist me while they put out cigarettes on their pussies. They use electricity on my cunt while the girls are forced to come. And when I'm thirsty, they force the girls to squirt in a large plastic funnel so that I can drink their pussy juice.
I am whipped for hours on end. One morning they hang me up in a cell by my hands and feet, with my legs spread wide.
Women come into my cell, sometimes three of them, and they pull open my labia and push my clit out. Then they beat me on my clitoris while I scream. They do this, because my clitoris is the worst part of me, the women say. They lick me so that my clit swells, they work my pussy with their fingers until I leak over their fingers. They suck on my clitoris, then they on it again with a hard long stick or a whip or a small wooden spoon on my clit.
I must be punished, the women say. I have been a bad girl, the females say. All I can do is scream, as they pinch my swollen clit, hit it, hurting my clitoris. They fist me, while they work my breasts with a whip. They use a machine to rape my urethra. They squirt acid into my breasts while they electrocute my nipples. And they use a cattle prod on my anus.
I am slowly breaking. My mind is fragmenting. But it's still early in their treatment and punishment. They are not finished with me yet.
The sphincter muscle of my anus no longer closes. The men just use their fists to rape me anally. Exhausted, I lie naked on my stomach in the middle of the cell when the guards and trainers leave me alone. Sperm leaks from my cunt and anus. The guards sometimes come in to lift my face to check if I don’t choke on vomiting sperm yet. They kick me between my legs to wake me up. When I have slept, they wake me up, by forcing me to crawl towards their boots with my legs spread and open, my pussy open, so they can kick me there.
Sometimes they force me to spread my legs and gape my red, torn labia open for them, so the sperm can flow out of me. They take photos of me, spreading my legs and opening my bruised cunt, and tell me they will show the pictures to their daughters and wives as an example of what will happen to them if they do not obey and keep their pussies, mouths and anuses open as the penetration holes they actually are.
I must be in more pain, they tell me. So they punish my pussy even more. I get special electrical treatments, where they stick a metal pin in my urethra, shock my nipples and rape me with a cattle prod. They spank my cunt until I cry, screaming like a todler. During the breaks, they stretch my labia and attach my cunt with clamps to the metal mesh of the cage in which they keep me.
Every few days, they scrub my cunt and anus with a toilet brush deep inside me. Which is desperately needed, because I leak sperm from all my holes. I am slowly breaking.
Sometimes they drown me in liters of piss, which I am forced to drink. They tell me that the piss comes from the two teenage girls, Valerie's daughters, and I am grateful for this, to know that the girls are still alive, whatever that life may be like as walking holes for rape.
After 72 hours of forced orgasm, my heart gives out for the first time. But at the beginning of it all - even in their threats - they promised to keep me alive as their fuckpig. So they do everything they can to keep me alive.
When I wake up again, it is because electricity is rhythmically coursing through my clit and pee hole, pulsing as a stimulus for my heart. Then the sexual torture begins again.
They connect my pussy and breasts to electricity and work on me with a picana. They push lumps of steel wool into my pussy, push it into my uterus and turn it on, while they work on my clit with a soldering iron, just like they did to Valerie. The pain is indescribable. I start screaming that I want to die.
A special team of men visits me, and uses me in a special, two day long gangbang, in which I am fisted in all my holes. I scream like a pig. My body begins to betray me. Even when I am on the verge of losing consciousness, they extract orgasms from my body. When I fall asleep, they tie me down with a stick in my anus and I come on the electricity. They remove my teeth so they can rape me while they pinch my nose. When I try to bite back, it feels extra nice and soft, the men tell me. It’s good for me, they say. Holes, after all, should be soft.
There are many men who orally rape me to the point of unconsciousness, pinching my nose until my eyes roll back in my head. Then they shoot their thick semen deep into my throat, so that I choke on their cock while I wake up again, foaming at the mouth, with a dick deep inside my mouth. And then, while I have not yet recovered, the next cock is shoved into my mouth. And I feel those fingers pinching my nose again.
I piss and shudder as my mouth is pulled over cock, again and again. One time I hear a soft voice above me, moaning and whispering my name: “Ah, sweet girl, so soft, your mouth is so soft, Kirsje,” I hear someone moan as semen ejaculates inside my throath. I'm not sure. But I think it’s my daddy's voice. Then, later, harder thrusts inside my throat. “Yeazzz, sis, so good, I feel your gums soft around my cock, yezzz Kirsje god yes, yes,” as I feel the sperm squirting inside my throath. And I'm not sure, but it tastes like my brother's.
They continue to punish my pussy. Then they tie me up, with my arms and legs raised, in a large white bathtub. They scrub me clean and push a speculum into my cunt. They screw me open. A woman in a white nurse's uniform enters, wearing white plastic gloves and carrying a large transparent jar. “Tut tut, sweetheart,” I hear the voice disapprovingly, “You've really done it this time, haven't you, dear?”
I am seeing blurry, but behind the blurriness I slowly recognize the female, hard voice and realize that my mother is standing there. And I start to scream. Because I know what is in the large glass jar. It’s how mommy punished me, when I was a teenage girl, when I didn't sucked-off my daddy properly. This is the reason why I hated my brother so much. Why I posted that video, about how I fantasized about torturing my own brother, by letting his daughters forcing him cum in front of his own wife.
Mama held my legs open for him. And she punished me, if I didn't swallow my brother's sperm.
And if I was a very bad girl and said no when daddy wanted me in bed, mama would tie me up like this. In the bathtub. With my hands and feet up. She would then insert a speculum into my pussy - she was a gyneacological nurse - and opened me up for her. And then, one by one, she would drop leeches into my pussy. Just like she did now.
She enjoyed watching me being raped by the leeches - sometimes she used worms - as they crawled into my pussy, sometimes even sucking at the opening of my uterus.
I scream, half-crazy from the leeches crawling around in my screwed open pussy.
I feel the little creatures slowly moving inside me. I feel them sucking on the inside of my vagina. One is sucking on the opening of my uterus and I'm afraid it will crawl inside, raping my cervix. My mother laughs and starts to stimulate my clitoris. First with her finger. Then with a vibrator. She enjoys watching the dark leesches expand and retract, moving inside me, crawling around, trying to crawl out of my pulsating vagina.
Mommy rapes me with insects, while she strokes my hair and says I have only myself to blame. “You were always a stubborn girl, Kirsten. No wonder the Organization is punishing you now. Did you know that we’ve paid a special fee, just so that we can watch the online live streaming of your sexual suffering as a family? Your little brother still comes very nicely in my mouth while you scream, sweetheart. He likes your suffering very much.”
I begin to moan as one of the leeches starts to crawl out of the speculum and it begins to suck on my clit.
Mama sticks a finger in my anus. I cum. I tremble and convulse, screaming and cumming and cumming, until I lose consciousness again.
When I regain consciousness, screaming and howling as electric shocks wave through my urethra, my mother has disappeard. My sexual torture has been transferred to another female in nursing clothes.
They use a drill to pierce my cervix and push needles into my vagina. They drip steaming hot candle wax in my stretched open vagina. They push a special funnel inside my cervix and drip boiling hot oil inside my uterus, so I feel how they burn my uterus from the inside. They use cigarettes on my anus and hammer my nipples onto a board so they can stick needles in them, which they then heat up, while raping my asshole. They tell me It makes my anal muscles massage their cock really good, while they clamp onto my clit and crush my feminine core with their metal crocodile teeth.
I no longer sound human. I have torn my vocal cords, screeching, gurgling.
They are stripping my humanity from me, orgasm after orgasm. I can no longer climax, but still they continue to stimulate me. My clit is raw, swollen, bruised and bleeding. I am afraid they will surgically remove my clitoris, just like they did to Valerie. I scream that I'm cumming, that I'm cumming as they use electricity on my pisshole, and they tell me that they are not finished with me yet and that my clit should be in even more pain.
I break. I scream. I howl. I screech. I yell, please no more. no more, no more, I can't take it, please Stop. Stop. Sto-oh-oh-oho-opppp!
My heart gives out for a second time.
Still, they manage to bring me back to life with a metal rod in my cunt. This time, they push an anal probe into my ass, which gives me shocks, specifically intended to keep me alive. I scream. I want to die. I beg them to let me go, to kill me. To please kill me. Gently and patiently, they tell me that I have not suffered enough yet.
They caress my cheeks, touch my tears and say that I’m not allowed to die. That my clitoris must suffer more. That my offensive video tells them that I deserves more. More pain. More agony. That my vagina needs to be destroyed, in connection with my mind.
So they inject a special burning serum into my clitoris to keep me stimulated. They continue to hurt my cunt with a metal rod in my vagina and a needle deep into my uterus. I cry like a baby, pissing, pissing, convulsing. My pisshole won't close anymore. They fist me.
Finally, they do the unthinkable. The one thing took Valerie over the edge. They remove my clitoris by cutting the swollen, irritated, female bud right off.
My eyes spin inside my skull as they push a thick, metal pin into the place between my legs where my clit used to be, raping the nerves, and sticking their finger in my pee hole.
Then they hang me up on my wrists, my legs spread with chains, cauterize my cunt with a gas burner under me. When I lose consciousness from the pain of my thighs burning, my pussy open and exposed to the blue burning flames of the fire, and from the heated metal pipe that they are sticking boiling hot into my anus, they promise me that now the end is near. My body is hardly recognizable als human anymore.
They shower me, scrub my anus, push a toilet brush into my burned cunt and drown me with water. Naked and wet, they hang me in a freezer, where I am constantly drenched with a mist of water. It is cold, so cold. So terribly cold. I am slowly freezing. My nipples are getting hard. They crush them, crunching them, frozen from my body. The metal pin they stuck in my clitoris is freezing and becomes rock hard, piercing me. It is freezing the internal nerve pathways in my cunt.
I know I'm dying. But before I finally go, they promise me that they will skin me, to strip the skin from my body. They will keep the skin with the opening of my vagina and anus and promise to sell it to the highest bidder. They promise that my daddy can make the first bid.
Then they will burn my body.
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All of this was collected in a long email someone had sent me. While reading this special message, I could not help myself. I masturbated on it and came several times. I orgasmed in a way I had never cum before. That someone wanted to do this to me. I couldn't believe it. So much hate. So much pain. So much elaborated sexual suffering.
The message was connected to a special video, made especially for me, collecting all these ideas about the agony and suffering of my female holes, summarized in one hour long visual sexual nightmare. I was messaged that the video was already published online. I recieved a special link (https://motherless.com/33FE60E), which I of course clicked (safe link), and watched immediately. To this day, I still masturbate to this video.
I’m hoping for another video. Or maybe even - yes, I’m a twisted, perverted sexual whore … made into reality?
